How to Play The Secret Winker

1. Everyone looks around the circle, meeting one another's eyes as naturally as they can.
2. The winker winks at one player at a time, choosing moments when the detective is looking elsewhere.
3. A player who is winked at silently counts to three, then falls asleep as theatrically as they like and stays out of the round.
4. The detective may accuse a player at any time by saying their name. A wrongly accused player says "not me" and stays in.
5. The detective wins by naming the winker within three accusations. The winker wins if three accusations fail, or if only two players are still awake.
6. Sleeping players keep their eyes closed and give nothing away.

What you need

• Paper and pen

Nice to have:

• A bowl or a hat for the slips
• Grand exits from the host view

1. Choose a detective, who moves their chair into the middle of the circle.
2. Fold one slip of paper for each remaining player, mark a dot inside exactly one, and shuffle them in a bowl or a hat.
3. Each player takes a slip, looks at it without showing anyone and puts it away. Whoever has the dot is the winker.

A round ends when the winker is named, when the detective has used all three accusations, or when only two players remain awake. Play as many rounds as there are willing detectives — five or six is usually plenty — with the previous winker taking the middle chair.

Players

6–20 players

Best with

8–14

Play time

10–20 min

Prep

1 min prep

Materials

Paper and pen

Energy

Lively

Noise

Moderate

Movement

Seated

Seated option

Works seated

Where

Living room, Large room, Dinner table, Outdoors

Times are editorial estimates, not test results.

Reading: None. The slips carry a dot or nothing at all.

The Secret Winker needs at least 6 players and works for up to about 20. It is at its best with 8–14 players.

Above twenty players the circle is too wide for a wink to carry. Form two circles, each with its own winker and detective, or keep one circle and mark two slips so that two winkers work separately — the detective must then name both.

• Insist on the count of three before anyone falls asleep; without it the detective simply watches where each sleeper was looking.
• Encourage grand exits. The falling asleep is half the fun, and it covers the winker's tracks.
• Some people cannot wink. Agree another signal before the slips go round, such as a slow double blink.
• Collect every slip after each round so that the marked one cannot be recognised.

Ways to fall asleep with style once the winker has caught your eye.

Slow and sleepy

• A yawn so wide it needs both arms
• Slide slowly down your chair like melting ice cream
• Announce "five more minutes" and drop your head
• Stretch like a cat and curl up
• Wilt like a flower without water
• Tuck yourself in with an invisible blanket
• Hug an imaginary pillow
• Wave goodnight to everyone
• Whisper "wake me for dessert"

Sudden

• Fall asleep in the middle of a sentence
• Count three sheep out loud and stop
• Rest your cheek on your hand and miss
• Snore once, politely
• Nod off, jolt awake, nod off again
• Blow out an invisible candle
• Freeze like a statue with your eyes shut
• Read an invisible book until it lands on your face

We recommend The Secret Winker in these collections:

• Party Games for Kids: 8 Games Children and Adults Play Together
• New Year's Eve Party Games: 8 Games to Carry the Room to Midnight

Traditional circle game, often known as "wink murder" and told here in a gentler form; this explanation, the example and the grand exits are original to Gather & Play.

Editorially checked for clarity and consistency. We do not claim group playtesting for this page. Editorial policy.